Quantum Leap...

Wow... I can't believe it. Just when gas prices can't get any higher, they do. Just when rap can't get more ignant, it does. Just when you think that Bush can't piss off another country, he does. And now...

Just when the world can't get any wackier. Welcome to Charlie Sheen vs. Denise Richards. I got love for Charlie Sheen, from his brief appearance in the classic "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn in "Major League", Franklin F. Bean in "Cadence", and a host of others Charlie is the man. Underrated comedic actor in by book, and womanizer extraordinaire who's exploits are almost up there in the Prince range... One of his exploits that he decided to marry was the beautiful Denise Richards who had any man with a healthy sexual appetite open from "Wild Things" and we haven't looked back ( Call me Antoine because I would have gone khaki shopping with her to!). Well there has been trouble in paradise and things have been getting pretty heated between the two, including some test phone messages from ole Chuck himself...

According to documents posted on The Smoking Gun Martin's son was pretty ticked at ole Niecy and left a series of messages on her voice mail including one where he unloads with the following message...

"You're a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You're a coward, and a liar, and a fucking nigger alright do fuck you!"

Pardon me people but this shit is fuckin' hilarious, I mean put away the beret and the fist pick for a minute and see the inherent comedy in this. I mean has the word gotten that universal? Is Charlie still tight about "Undercover Brother"? Where does this even come from? Is this the first "White on White N-Bombing" on public record? Did he mean it with an "a" or "er"? Is he gonna be a character witness for Fat Nick? Since he's like 8/14th's Mexican does he get the Latino/Chicano pass given to J.Lo, Fat Joe, Cypress Hill, etc? Man. You've really done it now Charlie boy...

Mighty Drewpreme 2006....
Free Kenneth McGriff

Shouts for the love to:
www.mightyhealthynyc.com
www.crazysteezyo.com

Ass-HOOOOOLE!

I apologize for breaking my weekly pattern but I’ve been swamped on the corporate plantation, been trying to get laundry done for the last two weeks and been just so generally lazy that I’ve been eating Top Ramen out the pack and dipping them in a cup of hot broth water. I didn’t know extreme shiftlessness was part of Spring Fever… I thought the weather was supposed to get me up and moving again, but its only been moving me from the bed to the La-Z-Boy to the couch. Go figure. If it wasn’t for work and satisfying my Olde English habit I’d be a permanent shut in. I’m really starting to become that weirdo guy who lives by himself that Bill Burr so eloquently joked about (Is that pesto?). I mean yeah I answer the door in boxers and a doo-rag… Stretched out wifebeaters got me having nipple wardrobe malfunctions like Janet on Super Bowl Sunday. Maybe I’ll just start taking control of my life like Kevin Spacey in “American Beauty”, clean out the garage, find a few old dusty dumbbells, toke up and work out. Speaking of I want to give a shout out to my latest import/export connect (no not VanDelay Industries), homegrown in the USA! But I digress…

I was gonna make this an angry entry about the growing gas prices, or the obvious racism that exists in the witch hunt of Barry Bonds but these retread stories have already been hashed over a million times in the standard press so why bother. I would like to give a shout out to my favorite head of state in the Western Hemisphere Hugo Chavez! Hugo, you’ve been watching “Spook” a few too many times perrito! I LOVE IT! I’m still waiting for my link to DL Mobb Deep’s new album (hop to it Shiggs!!!), besides my loathing of Loose Change and Minstrel Unit, I will further refuse to financially support this album because Washing Machine P is lusting after his new affiliation like a virgin on prom night. (Did I mention I hate that big toothed nacka? More on that when the time is right.)

Shout out to Los Mets, I’m glad that Willie Ran got them cats movin’! Thanks you to the sports gods for lacing me after Temple going 0-11, the Jets 4-12, and the Knicks… THE KNICKS!!! I can’t even say it… So I’ll just ride out with the kids from Queens and lets keep this momentum going…

Aight party people. I gotta hook up my TiVO/DVR box. Now I can watch “Lil Kim: Countdown to Lockdown” on my time! TV will never be the same…

Mighty Drewpreme 2006...

Shouts to my MH Constortium who are constantly doing it in a major way...

Fear of a Black Tenant...

First off let me say that Ghostface's "Fishscale" is amazing hip-hop. A great album in concept, format, and most importantly MUSIC. As a random fact regarding the author Mr. Dennis Coles has firmly ensconsed himself as #2 on my list of all time faves behind the untouchable penultimate apex that is Strong Isle's own Rakim Allah (the only god regardless what Jay-Hovah thinks). But pecking orders aside it was Mr. Coles latest instant classic that inspires this installment of "No Singles, No Shorts."

Early this evening I was working in a domestic capacity in Casa de Drewpreme getting some laundry done with "Fishscale" in heavy rotation helping me whistle while I work... While no Cinderella and definitely not Snow White I hear a heavy knock on my door and look at the clock and see its about 9:55pm. Swathed in Polo Bear towels and a bag of dutty Nike socks I work my way downstairs to see what the mother effin' commotion was all about. I guess I didn't get to my own door fast enough because I an once again disturbed by a very Federal type knock...

So dumping the laundry I answer the door to find a "neighbor" at the door... Already figuring that he's here about the music (Ironically the first music complaint I've received), I ask the standard "Hey what's up?" and I'm met with the following retort...

"I live down the hall and can hear the music three doors down. I'm also a cop..." and proceeds to show his badge. Here's where the drama begins.

"I apologize as a neighbor if you were disturbed by the music but do you really think it was necessary to whip out the badge also?"
"Well I had to knock twice and..."
"And you hear loud hip-hop. Ever think I had to get downstairs to answer the door? I mean you come to me as a neighbor that's one thing, but you really need to go ahead with that cop shit..."
"Well I wanted to have it prepared to see if everything was OK. I didn't mean any offense... "
"OK? You care to elaborate what you probable cause and theory of what was going wrong? Plus its to late for offending people."

*John Q. Flatfoot is becoming visibly embarrassed*

"I mean damn man. Just knock as a neighbor. I would have understood that, but I mean what was there plans for arrest?"

The pig fumbles for a BS apology. I take his badge number and inform him I'm filing a complaint...

FUCK THE POLICE...

On a sad note - Rest In Peace to Proof. From what it seems with out you there's no Em, which means no 50, etc... You were a cool brother, I'm glad I got to meet and kick it with you that time at Joe's Pub. Here's the hype man and best friend to America's biggest pop star and you were definitely one of the most down to earth cats I've met in the game. Hopefully your death won't be in vain and hip-hop will stop being the purveyor of comic book death and violence. No one seems to take note of the 100 bodies caught on an album until one of those deaths are real.

Signing Off... Mighty Drewpreme 2006
Free Kenneth McGriff.

Go Figure...

On an entirely different note here is another reason why women are effin' nuts sometimes. This girl I work with asked me to come over this Saturday to help with moving her washer and dryer out of her old house to her new apartment. This is the same gal that when I brought her back bagels from NYC (which she asked for) sat in her car waiting outside of my place for them when I invited her in and "wasn't comfortable" with coming in. Well now she has the testicular fortitude to ask me if I can come over and move a washer and dryer. I've never seen that go down as a one man job even when they have an industrial handtruck or cart. "Come on I'll buy you a few beers..." Which leads me to this...

Why do women think because I am a physically superior human being that they have the right to ask a man to come over an move some real heavy sh*t for beers? Why because thats men's work? Aren't you currently dating someone? A move of that capacity you need to be asking someone you've known longer than a few months and were "too scared" to come into my house solo to get an effin 1/2 dozen bagels that I kindly brought from NYC for you? I mean we've had to at least got down a few times for such a request or played your cards better. I mean do you think a man would ever think about the following proposition?

"Hey I got some dusting, dishes, and other domestic work I need some help with. How about I'll make you a few cosmos and you can come over and dust the crib for me?"

I mean as a dude you could ask your current f*ck buddy/long term girl friend/wife/female neighbor that question and faster you can say "Independent Woman", and you'd be shut down faster who knows what... So next time a girl who's not putting out, or is not your significant other, or even a good friend asks you to do some "guy sh*t" that involves manual labor, killing vermin intruders, or walking down dark alleys ahead of them for minimal pay, respond with asking them to do some "women's work" for the same stupid minor pittance...